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All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

(Source: joshgads, via had-just-ten-hours-training)

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jcash91:

I laughed so hard at this.

(Source: prosinac, via indubidably)

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Sooner or later, they will meet the twins.

(Source: communified, via marysmorsten)

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mustbekarma:

So far adulthood is just going grocery shopping, realizing you didn’t plan well or logically, going grocery shopping again, repeat ad infinitum. 0/10 stars, would not recommend

(via demoncest)

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runecestershire:

mashedpotatoturtle:

enjolrastopheles:

greencarnations:

dannyrandy:

"twisting classical characters like dorian gray into a homosexual"
i’m frelling crying

TWISTING CLASSICAL CHARACTERS LIKE DORIAN GRAY INTO A HOMOSEXUAL

Son, you might want to be sitting down for this one.

Dorian Gray was so gay the book was literally used as evidence in the author’s trial for sodomy.

And it’s back. I don’t’ know whether to collapse with laughter or with horror. I think both will do.

runecestershire:

mashedpotatoturtle:

enjolrastopheles:

greencarnations:

dannyrandy:

"twisting classical characters like dorian gray into a homosexual"

i’m frelling crying

TWISTING CLASSICAL CHARACTERS LIKE DORIAN GRAY INTO A HOMOSEXUAL

Son, you might want to be sitting down for this one.

Dorian Gray was so gay the book was literally used as evidence in the author’s trial for sodomy.

And it’s back. I don’t’ know whether to collapse with laughter or with horror. I think both will do.

(via lokissocks)

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"

'All right,' said Susan. 'I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.'

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

'Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little-'

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

'So we can believe the big ones?'

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

'They're not the same at all!'

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET— Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS
IF THERE IS SOME… SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

'Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—-'

MY POINT EXACTLY.

She tried to assemble her thoughts.

THERE IS A PLACE WHERE TWO GALAXIES HAVE BEEN COLLIDING FOR A MILLION YEARS, said Death, apropos of nothing. DON’T TRY TO TELL ME THAT’S RIGHT.

'Yes, but people don't think about that,' said Susan. Somewhere there was a bed…

CORRECT. STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE’s HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A… A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.

'Talent?'

OH, YES. A VERY SPECIAL KIND OF STUPIDITY. YOU THINK THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS INSIDE YOUR HEADS.

'You make us sound mad,' said Susan. A nice warm bed…

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME? said Death.

"

— Terry Pratchett, Hogfather (via captainofalltheships)

(via cookiesforthedarkside)

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mihtrandir:

Sansa Appreciation Week

Day 1: favorite quote    "There are no heroes…in life, the monsters win."

(Source: mihtrandir, via mihtrandir)